Daily Dyson

Jimmy Fallon - Slow Jam The News

2009-03-03T14:35:00.001-05:00

Jimmy Fallon's first night as the replacement for Conan O'Brien. Not bad.

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

Rickards

2009-01-23T10:06:00.003-05:00

We've Moved

2008-01-08T09:59:00.000-05:00

In case you are still checking this page, make sure to update your bookmarks to www.dailydyson.com

All the good stuff is there now.

And fries.

A New Era

2008-01-05T15:56:00.000-05:00

If you are still coming to this page then you're going to need to update your address for the Daily Dyson.

We have changed servers to a more secure, nuclear war proof location.

If you are reading this it means that you are still using the address www.DailyDyson.blogspot.com. Please change your bookmark to www.DailyDyson.com

For those of you using an RSS Feed Reader, please update to www.DailyDyson.com

See you at the new digs!

Bring beer.

A Million Apologies...

2008-01-03T10:32:00.000-05:00

It appears that one of our previous posts here had its picture Link-Jacked.

Please just hit refresh right now and carry on with your business.

Vote Chris Bosh

2008-01-03T09:46:00.001-05:00

Vote Chris Bosh on to the Eastern All Star team.

www.NBA.com

Do Not Take This Flyer Down!

2007-12-28T09:59:00.000-05:00

Don't touch it!

Pirate Keyboard

2007-12-27T17:54:00.001-05:00

What else does a pirate really need anyways?

Jamie Lynn Spears On The News...

2007-12-25T11:17:00.000-05:00

Recently impregnated Jamie Lynn Spears speaks out about the recently revealed news of her pregnancy at 16 years old.

Older sister Britney makes a surprise appearance in this news clip.

Nice Guitar Dude

2007-12-25T11:14:00.000-05:00

...And Then There Is Mrs Spears

2007-12-20T15:00:00.000-05:00

Now it looks like the mother of pregnant teen Jamie Lynn and White Trash Queen Britney Spears is going to write a book on parenting.

Going to guess it's a pretty short book.

A short book that reeks of sex and alcohol and devoid of any fact whatsoever.

Hit My Sister One More Time

2007-12-19T09:52:00.000-05:00

Special thanks to PH for this hard hitting expose. Some of you may remember our feature editorial board member AH. Well PH is a sibling. Rivalry will ensue.

But back to this most important story.

Jamie Lynn Spears, the younger sister of All-That-Is-Wrong-With-Society Britney Spears, is pregnant at the age of 16.

Does this really surprise anyone? If not for being caught up and spit out of the music industry popstar machine, Britney would probably have had her first child at 15.

The best part about this? Jamie Lynn met her baby's father at church.

So much for abstinence. When you have an older sister like Britney for a role model, this situation is probably the least of your worries.

Santa's Horny Reindeer

2007-12-18T14:52:00.000-05:00

The reindeer population in Jacksonville, Florida has grown exponentially due to a recent onslaught of Christmas decoration vandalism.

Turns out the instructions for decorative reindeer do not suggest you mount one reindeer to the rear of another. It's just Christmas revellers getting creative...

Tourism in Calgary

2007-12-17T11:01:00.001-05:00

So what do you usually think about when you hear about the city of Calgary?

Stampede?

Maybe oil?

How about the Flames?

Ever thought about 250 lb naked men being arrested by police in Calgary?

How Many 5 Year Olds Does It Take?

2007-12-14T15:17:00.000-05:00

Sometimes a website appears on the Interweb that makes you wonder how you survived without it up until this point.

Everyone has asked themselves the question, "Really, how many 5 year olds could take me down? How many little kids is it going to take to bring me to me knees?"

Click below to find out, through proven scientific methods, how many 5 year olds it would take to swarm you and shame you for the rest of your life.

20

They're Back

2007-12-11T10:32:00.000-05:00

It seems over the past decade or more many of the great rock and roll bands from the 60s and 70s were reuniting for tours. Call it a cash grab, nostalgia, or whatever you like.

One of the most anticipated rock and roll reunions has happened. But for one night only.

Led Zeppelin played last night. And they rocked.

The world is alright once again.

Check out the fan video below.

And speaking of rock singers with tight jeans that show off their junk to the world, this was the weather forecast for the night that Led Zeppelin reunited...

A Sign?

2007-12-07T16:33:00.000-05:00

Now what could mother nature be telling us to do this weekend?

Merry Drunken Christmas

2007-12-06T14:17:00.000-05:00

Gather round ye olde Grolsch christmas tree.

Free Beer For Life

2007-12-05T09:01:00.000-05:00

A pub in Britain has given free beer for life to a local veteran, in a nod to the service that he has performed for his country.

A veteran of World War 1.

The veteran is 109.

The beer is warm.

What a nice pub.

Chimpanzees Are Smarter Than Humans

2007-12-04T10:17:00.000-05:00

The Japanese have proven that Chimps are smarter than humans.

Do not ask any questions. Only accept that this is a fact.

Rap Lyrics Explained With Charts and Graphs

2007-11-30T11:53:00.001-05:00

Check out this site that measures that quantitative boasts in some popular rap lyrics. Make sure to refer to the site and the following illustrations the next time Biggie comes blasting out of your radio.

Click the pictures for larger, clearer versions.

From Naughty By Nature's "OPP"

Nate Dogg telling us how it is...

P Diddy, Biggie, and Mase telling us all about problems.

Jay Z telling us just exactly how many problems he cares about.

Dr Dre and Snoop and their "Unified Bitch Theory"

The chart that allows Eminem to write such interesting lyrics.

Unfortunate Cookbook Name

2007-11-29T09:56:00.001-05:00

Whatever Happened To Midnight Oil?

2007-11-29T09:47:00.001-05:00

Remember that band from the '90s called Midnight Oil?

The Australian band with a lead singer that had a shaved head?

Remember that just a little?

Well that same singer is now Australia's new Minister of the Environment.

Bono - there is still hope for you to become the first President of the World.

On Guitar Hero and Nuclear Weapons

2007-11-28T11:36:00.000-05:00

The editorial board would like to take the opportunity to welcome two notable individuals to the world of blogging, and mourn one community member on the loss of his meal ticket.

Artemiw and Ahmadinejad are two names that just seem to go hand in hand. There is much about these two that are similar, and yet so much that gives them their distinct identities from each other.

Take a look at each of their blogs. Topics covered range from "Death to America" to Guitar Hero.

While only one can claim to be the President of Iran, both are deeply interested in the Guitar Hero phenomenon that is sweeping the planet. It is said that the President of Iran, while having one hand on the development of that country's nuclear program, has the other hand on his Guitar. He is constantly noodling his fingers over the fretboard to hit that perfect note combination.

They say that the beard makes a man. If that is true, then both Artemiw and Ahmadinejad are two of the manliest manly men out there. Their respective beards are a true testament to all that is great about facial hair.

Neither of these two are willing to bow to trends, or even help fight cancer. Succumbing to the latest fads and carving out a an eloquently shaped mustache on their upper lip is not something that either of these two would even consider doing. Who knows what kind of chins these two are hiding?

There is suspicion as to the actual authors of each of these individual's writings. Ahmadinejad has an entire state apparatus behind him. Artemiw refuses to answer exactly who is ghostwriting his material.

Take a look at both of these sites and decide for yourself if the world really is better off because these two are now voicing their opinions with us.

*Editor's note - at press time the editorial board was not able to secure actual photos of Artemiw.

And our heartfelt condolences go out to Scribbles at TimTutsch.ca on the loss of the cow that gave cash. Hang in there.

Thanksgiving Gluttony

2007-11-23T12:13:00.000-05:00

Recognizing the American Thanksgiving holiday in honor of our massive U.S. audience, a story of Thanks that just warms your heart...

Major League Eating has donated $6000 to the New York City Food Bank. The money was raised from an exhibition put on where a man ate an entire 10-pound turkey, four pounds of mashed potatoes, three pounds of cranberry sauce and 2 1/2 pounds of beans.

And he did it all in the name of helping those in the city that are hungry.

Perhaps he could have shared his 20+ pounds of food with those regulars at the Food Bank.

Just a thought.

Useful New Site

2007-11-21T10:13:00.000-05:00

The crack research team at the Daily Dyson has been scouring the internet for months, and has finally come up with quite possibly the most useful site out there.

ImOnTheInternet.com

Be careful what you find when taking a peek at this site.

Can you handle the information presented to you?

Ho Ho Ho

2007-11-20T14:33:00.000-05:00

Talk about taking political correctness too far. Santas in Syndey, Australia have been warned not to use the traditional greeting of St Nick, "Ho Ho Ho" as it has been deemed offensive to women.

Could the Politically Correct police next hit up Canada Post? They have been ruining young minds for decades by listing Santa's official postal code as HOH OHO.

Truly scandulous.

In other news, check out the new Snoop Dogg X-Mas video released on December 25th... Plenty of Ho Ho Ho.

When Chuck Norris Endorses, The World Obeys

2007-11-18T22:21:00.000-05:00

Mike Huckabee, who is running for the Republican Presidential nomination, has secured probably the most coveted endorsement in the free world.

Mike Huckabee has Chuck Norris.

Check out the video below or here.

"Chuck Norris doesn't endorse. He tells American how it's going to be."

This posting is Chuck Norris Approved!

What A Deal!

2007-11-18T11:31:00.000-05:00

Can you believe these savings?

Things Not To Have Sex With...

2007-11-16T09:41:00.000-05:00

Add another word to the good old Webster's Dictionary, cycle-sexualist.

A man in England was caught recently having sex with his bicycle by cleaners in the hostel he was staying add.

Editor's Note: bicycle shown in picture is NOT the sex-crazed bicycle in question.

When Alcohol Ruins A Good Joint

2007-11-15T09:43:00.000-05:00

The International Hempology 101 Society in Vancouver has had to suspend its meetings because of trouble with unruly drunks crashing their gatherings.

Try as we could to keep this story balanced, the editors could find no examples of stoners walking into Beer Society meetings. Tough research.

Somebody Give This Man A Dollar!

2007-11-11T12:09:00.001-05:00

And You Thought Waterboarding Was Inhumane!

2007-11-09T10:52:00.000-05:00

Two men in Illinois have been charged with torturing a man with fresh cookies.

Fresh cookies.

Tasty fresh cookies.

Cue the Senate hearings...

Amazing FedEx Advertisement

2007-11-08T09:55:00.000-05:00

Looks like UPS just got owned!

Happy Birthday Son

2007-11-08T09:19:00.000-05:00

A mother in Australia accidentally booked a stripper to perform in front of her 16 year old son's class as a birthday present.

The stripper, dressed as a policewoman spanked the boy 16 times in front of his entire drama class.

Apparently the teacher decided to put a stop to this only after the stripper pulled out some cream from her bag for the lucky 16 year old to rub all over her.

Can't wait to see what happens for this kid's 17th birthday!

How Not To Parent

2007-11-06T11:32:00.000-05:00

Probably going out on a limb here, but if 4 out of your 8 children ( all of whom are under 3) test positive for cocaine, then you are probably not a good parent.

I have forwarded the addresses for these people onto Dr Spock, who will rise up and beat them.

Grow That Moustache!

2007-11-05T20:03:00.002-05:00

November is officially the month to grow that beautiful moustache you have always wanted.

Mo-vember is a fundraiser for the Prostate Cancer Research Foundation of Canadian. Men (and select ladies) are growing moustaches to raise money for cancer research.

www.Movember.com

Remember - if you're growing that moustache for cancer, there isn't any reason why you can't keep it the other 11 months of the year!

The editorial board at the Daily Dyson is 100% Pro-Moustache. Always have been, always will be.

A Sad Sad Day

2007-11-05T19:56:00.000-05:00

Stephen Colbert has dropped out of the 2008 Presidential race.

A sad day.

Mourn appropriately.

Good vs Evil

2007-11-02T12:15:00.000-04:00

Because attacking your liver is what makes you a good person.

You Just Shouldn't Scare Some People

2007-11-01T10:27:00.001-04:00

A Halloween prank that didn't go exactly as planned.

Halloween Costumes...

2007-10-31T09:41:00.000-04:00

You would think that parents would exercise some judgment when dressing up their kids for Halloween.

Field Trip!

2007-10-31T09:35:00.000-04:00

The Editorial Board at the Daily Dyson will be filing some live stories from the World Toilet Summit in Delhi, India.

Check back for all of the latest updates.

When Leaving A Parking Garage...

2007-10-30T13:56:00.000-04:00

Don't do this.

Ninjas On Parade

2007-10-30T13:15:00.000-04:00

The 30th Annual Ninja Parade was held recently in Modesto, CA.

As with the past 30 parades, the ninjas were not detected by the city's residents. Check out the news clip below.

Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again

The Effects Of Rainforest Logging

2007-10-28T16:30:00.000-04:00

Maybe C Wasn't The Right Answer

2007-10-24T11:19:00.000-04:00

Take a look at this exam score on a True/False exam.

Read the comment from the professor below the image.

When Postal Workers Are Cold

2007-10-22T14:39:00.000-04:00

Is burning mail really the best way to keep warm?

Frisking A Quadriplegic

2007-10-19T10:40:00.000-04:00

The city of Pasadena is being sued by a quadriplegic man who claims he was pulled out of his chair by multiple police officers, hung him over a concrete wall, and then proceeded to search him.

Many, many questions arise from this situation...

What is so hard about frisking someone who cannot move their arms or legs?

Why do you need to frisk someone who does not have the use of their arms or legs? It's not like you're going to have a gun pulled on you.

Placing the man over a 4 foot wall?

And what exactly was this disturbance call that justified sending multiple officers to the house of a quadriplegic man, and felt that they needed to frisk him to secure the safety of the area?

Amazing Christmas Website

2007-10-18T09:45:00.001-04:00

Click here to find out if it is Christmas yet.

www.isitchristmas.com

Some Honest Advertising From Denny's

2007-10-18T09:43:00.000-04:00

Well at least they know who their target demographic is...

Colbert For President

2007-10-17T10:40:00.000-04:00

October 16, 2007 will go down in the history books as the day that The Greatest Living American declared his candidacy for President of the United States.

Stephen Colbert announced his candidacy for both the Republican and Democrat parties, explaining that this would enable him to lose twice.

This is truly a great day for not only America, but the world.

For full coverage of this event, head on over to Comedy Central and watch the highlights from both the Daily Show and the Colbert Report.

It's Like Pulling Teeth

2007-10-16T09:51:00.000-04:00

The spirit of MacGuyver has entered the world of British dentistry.

A new study suggests that people in Britain, desperate in the face of dentist shortages, have taken to some homemade dental solutions.

Techniques such as pulling their own teeth and supergluing crowns have become more common as the number of publicly available dentists in the country has declined.

Brushing everyday can solve alot of problems...

Taste Test Gone Horribly Wrong

2007-10-13T17:20:00.001-04:00

Coke Or Pepsi?

Ever wondered who would win between Coke and Pepsi in a head-to-head matchup?

Well the debate is finally over. A Pepsi deliveryman in Pennsylvania knocked out his Coke counterpart recently. The two deliverymen got into an altercation at a local convenience store, with the Coke employe receiving three punches to the face, a black eye, and the knowledge that Coke may not be the Real Thing after all.

Pepsi vs Coke? Pepsi wins, only because it's tougher, meaner,and willing to fight dirty.

Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?

2007-10-12T08:34:00.000-04:00

Found her!

Al Gore Is The Peaciest

2007-10-12T08:24:00.000-04:00

Al Gore recently won the Nobel Peace Prize for his work on bringing attention to the problem of climate change.

Safe to say that it's all because he made a little movie called The Inconvenient Truth.

Also safe to say that Bono has been sedated and tied to a chair to prevent him from absolutely losing his mind.

Watch for U2's next album to be themed around African poverty, world peace, and kittens, With a shot of Mother Theresa and Nelson Mandela on the cover holding a small Cambodian orphan.

Who Doesn't Love Midgets?

2007-10-10T10:42:00.000-04:00

Especially when they are German.

And laughing.

Laughing German Midget - Watch more free videos

More Than Meets The Eye

2007-10-10T10:18:00.000-04:00

Halloween is upon us soon, and with that comes the inevitable dilemna about what your costume should look like.

This guy has taken his planning to a whole new level, and is documenting the construction of his Optimus Prime costume.

Amazing.

VOTE TODAY!

2007-10-10T09:40:00.000-04:00

VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE

If you don't vote, don't complain!

Click here for information.

Election Speculation - From An Expert

2007-10-09T11:06:00.001-04:00

Head on over to Scribbles, where the current Ontario Election is being discussed with some insightful commentary.

Or you can scroll down and look at dancing monkeys.

Your choice.

Can You Break A Million?

2007-10-09T10:53:00.000-04:00

A man in Pittsburgh was recently jailed for attempting to use a fake $1,000,000 bill at a local supermarket.

A note to all readers out there - the editors at the DD have personally used $1,000,000 dollar bills without a problem, as recently as a month ago.

Obviously this guy is going to the wrong supermarket to buy his grandmother her groceries.

Riverdance.

2007-10-06T11:50:00.001-04:00

Here's to dancing monkeys!

Of Naming Rights and Bank Machines

2007-10-05T18:13:00.000-04:00

Last night the editorial board at the Daily Dyson took part in the insanity that has become the Toronto FC. No other field in Major League Soccer provides as much support for their home team as the fans at BMO field do.

But BMO field just doesn't give back.

How is it that in a stadium named after a bank, that there are only two bank machines in the entire facility. And when one of those machines is broken, the already underserviced area becomes like a third world country having a run on its currency.

30 minute line ups to get money for beer? The editorial board had to buy beers so that the wait in the lineup went by faster.

For a stadium that has more beer vendors than fans in the stadium, there sure is a lack of cash machines available. And when those beer vendors only accept cash, you have a problem.

Makes no sense.

None.

-End Rant-

Don't Hassle The Hoff!

2007-10-03T09:13:00.000-04:00

Unless you need to wash your hands.

There Is A God!

2007-10-01T18:05:00.000-04:00

Brace yourself.

Britney Spears has been ordered to surrender custody of her two sons to Hip Hop Megastar Kevin Federline, or as I like to call him, K-Fed.

The trainwreck that is Britney will now be able to continue her slow decline towards death without bringing her children with her.

...and she has a new album out November 13.

Exciting times!

Timing Comes With Age

2007-10-01T08:47:00.001-04:00

Probably not the best time to feed the kangaroo...

Dalton McGuinty's Broken Record

2007-09-29T12:41:00.000-04:00

After much review, the editorial board at the Daily Dyson has decided to award our "YouTube Video of the Week" to the just released video entitled "Dalton McGuinty's Broken Record"

Stay tuned for more exclusive pre-releases of upcoming Ontario Election videos.

Next up - a classic entitled "Dalton McGuinty Tells The Truth".

Editor's Note - the above mentioned video does not exist. Footage relating to the subject matter could not be obtained. Anywhere.

Random Thinking?

2007-09-28T19:50:00.000-04:00

If one links to another's random thoughts, is it still random?

Or does the double negative give order to the random post about random thoughts?

The Springfield Monorail!

2007-09-28T15:48:00.000-04:00

As if the Liberal platform wasn't CAARRRAAAAZZZZYYYYY enough, it appears one of their star candidates in Niagara West Glanbrook has decided to lift his latest policy proposal directly from the Simpsons.

Control Yourself On The Ski Hills

2007-09-28T07:41:00.001-04:00

Just Relaxing...

2007-09-27T20:17:00.000-04:00

Dalton's New Website

2007-09-27T15:19:00.000-04:00

Dalton McGuinty.

Maybe not in his own words...

Government At Work

2007-09-27T10:02:00.000-04:00

Be Careful On The Ice!

2007-09-26T15:49:00.001-04:00

Dude PIZZA!

2007-09-25T14:19:00.000-04:00

Don't switch out a man's pizza!

Enjoy Moosehead? Stock Up.

2007-09-24T08:32:00.000-04:00

Looks like there is going to be a shortage of Moosehead in Southern Ontario in the near future, as two trucks carrying over 100,000 bottles of cool refreshing nectar were stolen in Mississauga.

Police say they are on the lookout for two seriously wasted individuals. They are advising Moosehead drinkers to check their beers to ensure they are not consuming beers that are missing serial numbers.

Quote of the day -

"We can't believe that of all the beer available in Canada that Moosehead would be targeted again," - Moosehead spokesman John Levesque.

The editors at the Daily Dyson can believe it. Not that there are any media experts on staff here, but why would you provide that as a quote? Are you kidding? Moosehead should be proud that their sweet, tasty, brew would be targetted for theft.

----------------------

In a related story, John Tory has released his latest proposal in the Ontario election, and it's a good one. Tory is proposing to put in place a pilot project to sell alcohol in corner stores (Ontario made only).

You can already buy other 19+ products at your local Mac's like cigarettes, so why not include alcohol? Makes perfect sense.

Naming Your Child

2007-09-24T07:44:00.001-04:00

Sadly, this same story has been reported on before, only with different names...

An Indiana couple, with the last name of Fields, have named their son Wrigley. Giving him the unfortunate (outside of Chicago) name of Wrigley Fields.

Great way to start off the kid's life. Like he's not going to have enough trouble at school.

Guaranteed this Wrigley kid will be no Dr Phil, or some offshoot of it, by the time he's 12.

The Lone Ranger

2007-09-23T11:04:00.001-04:00

Why would you vote for the Lone Ranger for Premier?

Because he has THE COOLEST NAME EVER!

And The Videos Keep Coming...

2007-09-23T11:00:00.001-04:00

YouTube Gold!

The Mcguinty Dance Part 1 and 2...

Great New Election Ads

2007-09-23T10:17:00.001-04:00

The Daily Dyson has managed to secure copies of the new Ontario PC Party election commercials.

Great ads. The editorial board really enjoys the "Not Worth The Paper It's Written On" piece.

Best Air Conditioning Service In Town

2007-09-22T09:13:00.000-04:00

God Responds To Lawsuit

2007-09-22T09:09:00.000-04:00

Leave it to the crack team of investigative reporters at the Daily Dyson to uncover this one.

In a follow up to a previous story on God being sued, it appears that the defendant in the lawsuit filed by a Nebraska State Senator has filed his defence.

God responded to the lawsuit by filing the following statement: "Defendant denies that this or any court has jurisdiction ... over Him any more than the court has jurisdiction over the wind or rain, sunlight or darkness,"

God has now been ordered to appear before the court to defend himself.

Sta tuned...

Ride the SLUT to work everyday...

2007-09-19T08:23:00.000-04:00

If you live in Seattle (and thousands of the DD's readers do live there) and find yourself needing an alternate way of getting to work, why not try riding the South Lake Union Trolley?

Once you've taken your inaugural ride on the South Lake Union Trolley, as you exit the vehicle, make sure you exclaim "Been there, done that. Now where's my T-Shirt?"

Richard Branson vs Stephen Colbert

2007-09-18T18:16:00.001-04:00

The infamous Colbert/Branson trainwreck...

Deciphering The Law

2007-09-18T09:20:00.000-04:00

A State Senator in Nebraska has filed a lawsuit against God.

God is counter suing.

Vegas is giving 2:1 odds that God will win.

Stay tuned.

To all those media monitors out there...

2007-09-17T16:42:00.001-04:00

John Tory. Dalton McGuinty. Howard Hampton.

OH SNAP!

YOU FELL FOR THAT ONE!

That will teach you to monitor this den of Interweb happeningzzzzz!

But Did He Win?

2007-09-17T16:40:00.001-04:00

A 30 year old Chinese man died after an online gaming binge lasting 3 days.

Weak.

A Real Asshole

2007-09-16T12:38:00.001-04:00

Apologies to all of those underage readers out there. But the world needs to know about this asshole.

John Tory Is The Story

2007-09-15T19:27:00.000-04:00

The editorial board would like to clear something up from the last post regarding the 2007 Ontario Provincial Election.

After much deliberation, discussion, and debate, the editorial board at the Daily Dyson has decided to endorse John Tory, leader of the Ontario PC Party.

AND

After thirty seconds of post-Seinfeld discussion, the editorial board has decided that Dalton McGuinty will not be receiving the coveted editorial board endorsement.

Ever.

Not kidding.

We are not making this up.

We cannot make this stuff up.

Mid September Predictions

2007-09-14T20:01:00.000-04:00

The Leafs will make the playoffs. Ottawa will continue their consistent post-season choking tradition.

John Tory will beat Dalton McGuinty in the October 10 election. McGuinty will cry. Alot.

Russia will have more babies.

Monkeys and birds will learn to love each other.

28 Day Slater

2007-09-13T18:46:00.000-04:00

Is he Mario Lopez or AC Slater?

What happens when one man cannot escape Saved By The Bell?

Life Lesson #429

2007-09-13T17:48:00.000-04:00

Never Rob A Karate Academy.

A man in Columbia was taken down by a group of karate students after he tried to rob their training academy the other day.

He had a gun. They had roundhouse kicks.

Bob Dylan Speaks!

2007-09-13T09:32:00.001-04:00

In honour of all things that are great, but mainly just Bob Dylan, the Daily Dyson has obtained access to a cool new toy.

Many thanks to our friends over at Sony BMG, who are always looking out for those Dylan fans out there.

Enjoy!

CLICK HERE

When Your Day Is Not Going Well...

2007-09-12T11:55:00.000-04:00

Grab a beer from your handy office beer fridge...

Just follow the instructions on the link above and turn those Dunder Mifflin paper boxes into the perfect cover for you beer fridge.

Behind Every Great Trick

2007-09-11T08:44:00.000-04:00

Oh Viagra, is there anything that you cannot do?

Anyone Can Be A Ninja

2007-09-10T10:19:00.000-04:00

Because you don't need to wear black pyjamas and be a master of the martial arts to be a ninja...

Become Invisible For Only $24.95!

2007-09-09T23:12:00.000-04:00

Who says you can't buy everything on EBay?

The Team Is Growing.

2007-09-09T10:33:00.000-04:00

This latest post is the product of some recent investments at the Daily Dyson that are starting to come to fruition.

Please join the entire editorial board in welcoming AH to our team. AH brings with him years of journalistic and zookeeping experience. Welcome AH.

Now on to the first report from our newest contributor.

Please enjoy the video below. Please laugh so the feelings of the New Guy aren't hurt.

Don't Call The Cops If...

2007-09-08T12:54:00.000-04:00

...your quarter pound stash of marijuana has been stolen.

Chalk this one up as Life Lesson #423.

So I'm At The Zoo...

2007-09-07T09:30:00.000-04:00

And there are some meerkats taking pictures of other meerkats.

Nice photography work.

Editor's note: some of these meerkat pictures have been removed as they have been deemed unsuitable for public viewing by the Interweb censors. Something about decency standards...

How To Start A Revolution - Part 4

2007-09-06T13:50:00.000-04:00

A strand of Che Guerva's hair is being auctioned off by a man who supposedly killed and buried the famed guerilla fighter in 1967. It is being auctioned off as part of a package of items that were used to hunt down someone who has become somewhat of a cultural icon since his death.

Let's just hope the successful buyer doesn't throw this up on a T-Shirt.

And please don't click on any Che Guerva ads that may appear along the side, you will only be helping the freedom fighters fund their revolution.